"sounds like someone's got a case of the Mondays"

So just in case you find yourself in rural East Africa and you're feeling adventurous, like perhaps you may want to visit community members with field staff... if you ask them, "where is the group we will visit?", and they reply, "not very far" it is more than safe to assume it is beyond walking distance. If you ask when something will be done and are told "in one hour" (or better yet, "tomorrow") you can know that it will be probably sometime next week. Or the person really doesn't plan to do it at all and just wants you to leave them the hell alone.

Went on a field visit today to a large women's group and accomplished basically nothing. Except learning a critical lesson: never get on a moto with the field staff before asking them if we have fuel. Though I love walking, I don't enjoy doing it in the hot sun, carrying a moto helmet, without water and in ankle deep dust with careless truck drivers whizzing by. It's also much less charming to be on that type of "adventure" after being told we were looking for someone to repair the moto's side mirror since evidently its driver didn't want to explain he ran out of gas. Unfortunately for him, since I have a brain, I figured it out after walking a couple of miles and after he paid for a jerry can of gas and carried it back to to moto.

On this walk I am told that we are also going to visit a children's home. This is the first I am hearing of visiting a children's home today. And it is, today. I explain I am surprised and he acts surprised at my surprise and asks if I have things to do back at the office. Yes, I tell him.

Back at the center I jump in on a cooking and food preparation demonstration for some of the staff. I write "guacamole" in permanent marker on a white board and help smash garlic and cut cilantro while others cut avocado, onions and tomato. It was unbelievably fun and I'm still breathing flames from the onion and garlic.

After lunch I made the truly disheartening discovery that mama Simba, was literally covered in ticks. I never dreamed in a million years I would become such an impromptu, amateur veterinarian. I will spare you the details but it was a gory, bloody affair I wish to never in my life re-live. Within the span of about 10 minutes after the disgusting battle of Kate vs. Virtually all of the ticks in Kenya I had: personally lectured the dog's supposed owner on how unacceptable this was, that ticks spread disease, and how he cannot keep 5 of the 10 puppies when he is not even caring for their mother. then i rounded up the carpenter and explained we needed a dog shelter built big enough for her and her puppies. he listed all the materials later and gave a quote for the labor. we are buying the supplies in the morning and i'm paying for the labor (about $14).

Yesterday I made a super fun investment. I got my own wheels. They hold up my very own, Chinese manufactured (naturally) bike from a grocery store (pretty bizarre). After bringing it home, I rode the fancy green thing around the unpaved dirt roads in the neighborhood with Karanja on his bike that has no brakes while about three other neighborhood kids tagged along smiling like crazy at me the whole way. When we reached a point where Karanja began to turn back to the house and there was a small river crossing the road I stopped. I asked him if he was planning to go back to the house that way. He told me yes. I asked him where all of that water came from. He tells me, "in fact, it is not water". For a split second I try to imagine how many herds of cows would have to urinate to create such a stream and while I'm doing the math he enlightens me that it's actually human sewage that is leaking from a broken pipe somewhere. Ah the joys of living in a place where people put up with living in their own waste.

Upon returning home after work today I open my bedroom door to a floor covered in broken glass. Since I so brilliantly left a window not even cracked, but unlocked, the violent winds that swept Thika today caused a clock that was on my curtain rode frame just inches from the ceiling to dive to the floor before shattering. As our helper Christine joined me in picking up the glass, she mumbled something to me. "What's that?" I asked her since her English is pretty minimal. She repeated herself. "Satan". "Sa-tan?!?" I ask? "This is the work of Satan", she said. Quite matter of fact-ly. I laughed like a crazy person and she didn't. Awkward.

my happy place

My day began today in a truly sobering way. Witnessed 2 men hauled away with their lives snuffed out in a traffic accident before I was even fully awake. Then passed the carcass of a (quite large) snake that we saw attacking someone on the very same road yesterday. Talk about a wake up call, reality check, slap in the face by life to remind you exactly what kind of environment you are in.

The heat and dust have been brutal and my skin is officially peeling off both of my arms.

This afternoon I sat on the seed bank floor threshing a mountain of truly artistic, musical seed pods ("Sehamn" or something like that, a vegetable popular with Eritreans) with my colleague, Matisi, I felt consumed with gratitude for where I am and all I am involved in. The temperature is cool inside the seed bank. The room is a modest size and doesn't see a lot of traffic. There were comfortable silences between the two of us and some fun conversations too, about small things. The seed bank is my happy place. I'm still looking forward to fund raising for glass jars and revamping the whole place and making sure it's kept in good working order.

Rose and I continued to tackle the solar dehydrator project. Really impressed by how many steps there are to what I originally thought would be a really simple project. It's entertaining to catch the construction workers at the center staring with jaws open at two women doing carpentry. It's seriously as if they've seen aliens or think they are dreaming. Women?!? Using tools? Fascinating!

It's also been a riot to notice how the students in the women's group all simultaneously crack up super loud each and every time they see me talking to Simba. Pretty sure they think i'm mentally challenged, but I can't help it when she follows me around or sits in my office doorway with those adorable eyes and perky ears. Apparently talking to dogs here is much less common than it is back home.

I finished my grass bracelet with beads that I made in hopes of replicating the one I got from Kindred that supposedly came from Kenya. Pretty happy with the way it turned out. I also find it amusing that the dried grass I used came from the remains of the former thatched roof over the training hall at the center. Who knew a roof could become a bracelet? Only in Africa.

I really like my morning traditions at work so far. Jumping out of the car to go feed Simba. Shaking hands and saying "morning" with all of the staff. Checking on the seedlings and trying to figure out where the puppies ended up, watering the worms and looking to see if the sow had her piglets yet. Then, before I know it it's tea time and everyone puts their work on hold for about 20 minutes. It's not optional. Then we all work on various projects until the heat is so crippling that you just want to go lay in a ball in the shade and sleep- but instead you power on in a coma-like state going through the motions of trying to accomplish something you could do in half the time if you weren't feeling like your blood was sizzling.

Hoping to walk to the Thika River this weekend with Karanja and Rex- and also find cheaper fish for the dog at the market. Pretty wild, I know.

finding a groove where there is no groove

Solar dehydrator building challenge day one. Despite a lack of proper tools and only having materials that aren't exactly by the book, I am happy to report that the solar dehydrator construction project is well under way. Six of the 12 needed legs have been sawed, all of the side panels were measured and cut, and front and back panels are nearly done for our first model. Also achieved the miracle of getting the right kind of sandpaper so that I can sand the aluminum sheeting before painting it black.

One thing that struck me today is how acquiring every little piece for the endless projects that arise takes more patience than I've learned to muster thus far. Availability of and access to required items is often a journey. What one plans to achieve in one day may take a week and a half. What one plans to do tomorrow, may not happen until the middle of next week, or really maybe not at all.

Taking care of 10 puppies is having me seriously reconsider real motherhood. And I'm not even the one nursing. Ha! They get breakfast before me in the morning. If they cry I can hear them from my office and go running to see who has fallen out of the house, who's hungry, who's gotten stuck under the house and who is just making noise for the sake of making noise.

Also under my belt today was the destruction of a wasp's nest that was directly over my desk, a gigant-o loaf of banana bread successfully baked, a walk to the milk shop down the street from work, a hand beaded belt purchased from the women's program, and a field visit planned for tomorrow.

I think my sinuses are filled with sawdust. Going to sleep hard tonight, I hope.

dust in the wind (and my nose)

After leaving my computer in the living room on the opposite side of the windows just overnight- I find it covered in a layer of red-brown dust in the early morning.

I don't know why, but this reminds me I am in a new place. Everything is fighting to stay alive here. The ants, the plants, the cockroaches, the newborn babies, the underfed animals, and of course, the people. Sometimes survival isn't graceful. Sometimes it takes shapes we never imagined it might.

I saw a young woman almost get hit by a huge, speeding truck and in her attempt to run away from it was again almost hit by an oncoming van.

At the risk of sounding really preachy... I am finding it helpful to really stop myself from any inner complaining I may be doing and fully escape into gratitude and awareness that I am breathing. I had a talk with Karanja (Peter) about death. We were comparing notes on things that scared us. I listed poisonous snakes and cockroaches. He said big lizards and growing old.

I'm more and more drawn to the approach of not wasting energy with useless regrets. There is also always a fine line between exploring and staying safe. I want to learn how to balance the two better. Though I am usually much more interested in exploring and being part of new experiences, I still value my life and don't take it for granted.

Yesterday I had fun with Shiro and Karanja. We were all so lazy from the heat and we hung around joking while cleaning shoes and sitting in the driveway. The neighbor girl came and joined us. Later Karanja and I walked to the outdoor market (about a 25 minute walk) to get omena fish for Simba, since she might be sick (she's eating less and I never see her nursing anymore- which is troubling). It felt INCREDIBLE to walk, even in the dust and heat. The market was overwhelming. Let's just say the local, outdoor markets in Kigali that freaked me out due to their smell and chaos were a step up from this one since they actually sold things on wooden tables- not the ground, surrounded by trash.

I also had a talk with Karanja about littering. I have been amazed by the trash everywhere that accumulates on the road sides and near people's homes. Every day, on the way home from work we drive by a group of 6 cows that stand or lie on a mound of old, dirty trash. Some days they are eating it, others they sleep in it. It frightens me that this sight is becoming familiar to me and therefore somehow less disturbing.

Well anyway tomorrow I'm going to the field for my first time. I'm going with Edwin (A Manor House graduate and super knowledgeable dude) to a place called Mangu where we are helping a children's home to start a Grow Biointensive garden for their kids. Wednesday and Thursday will be our first two days of trainings this year. Since the training hall is still being renovated we will meet with the Community Resource People at Chania Lodge which is somewhere in Thika. It is a refresher course that is part of our approach of "follow up" with communities we are trying to phase out from this year. I think I will learn a lot from the parts that are in English. I've been told at least 20 people will come and some are children. Really looking forward to it.

you know it's a good day when...

the fiasco known as: "the ATM ate my debit card!" occurs, yet at the end of the same day you have laughed hard with new friends (you even semi-made friends with the guy at the bank).

Dessert is homemade bread with honey in it.

Your work provides you with a feeling of purpose, inspiration and self-capability.

You're surrounded by people who eat, sleep and breathe principles you believe in (well the agricultural ones anyway).

Permission has been given to you to keep FOUR PUPPIES. I repeat. FOUR. PUPPIES. And you've already named your favorite one in Swahili.

Plans for 3 solar dehydrators are not only in the works but the materials for building have already been ordered.

Stomach AND toilet both seem to be functioning. This combination is truly incredible.

Gumboots and skinny jeans are your new standby outfit. Only to precede the inevitable gumboots and calf-length skirt look I am still figuring out how I feel about.

Practice run soil samples were a success. Such a soil nerd I could do that for hours.

Even the shower that turns from skin melting hot to complete goosebumps cold every 10 seconds seems to charm you somehow.

Your home is near a store that sells organic butternut squash at a price that allows you to buy TWO for about one dollar.

a bit of eye candy

can i please just write about the puppies?

There are ten of them. Spent a solid hour and a half washing them all today with a shampoo that is supposed to rid them of fleas. They were so incredibly loud and freaked the poor things. I also arranged for an old rabbit house to be moved across the center and cleaned it out for them so they wouldn't go back to the dirty storage shed they were in before. Most of them are just barely longer than the length of my hand. As I was holding one after they were all washed it fell asleep in my hand with it's tiny tongue hanging out and it's little legs hanging down and twitching slightly. I seriously considered smuggling it around the center all day long but managed somehow to eventually put it down.

In other productivity news, I began our 2012 planting record so that we can document everything and so that I know how to label everything once I muster up the courage to work with the chemically paint and make all of the signs around the center.

I've been charged with designing the e-newsletter while I am here and felt pretty proud that I had completely figured out exactly what I wanted to do for it (even though the deadline isn't until February 15th). Then after work Samuel informed me that he had a specific idea for February already and I won't have room to write about the stuff I interviewed people on already. How wonderful. I am getting pretty irritated about the lack of communication in general. In all fairness I enjoy and expect communication a lot more than most people, but in situations like these, I feel like I can't be helpful unless I am informed.

Soil sampling starts tomorrow. Or so I am told. But it might be next week. Since, as I've been told, "there's no hurry in Africa".

is Mercury in retrograde?

The day began when I woke up about twenty minutes late after having fallen asleep at 8pm. I felt as if I needed to keep sleeping. Whatever bug is making itself at home inside me is really laying me low. No time for breakfast so a quick protein "shake" minus the cold water and ice.

The key was officially lost to our office so they had to bust the padlock and get a new one. The electricity was out at the center so we had no internet. The man I gave roughly $10 worth of shillings (!) to last week -in order for him to buy Simba food so that she can nurse her ten puppies and not look like a walking skeleton- decided to either pocket the money or eat the fish for himself, I've decided I don't care which. That food was supposed to last her one month and it is gone. I won't even go into detail on my mortifying experience in the pit latrine- let's just say I sincerely hope it never ever happens again.

The seed bank was also completely ransacked overnight by some very greedy rats that came in through a broken window and apparently feast not only on loads of seeds that have been carefully saved and dried but entire LIDS from the plastic containers the seeds were stored in. I'd like to donate the cat from the house to guard the seed bank. I'm also on a mission to find glass jars with tin lids one way or another. Peris said they are really hard to come by here.

As soon as we got home, our newly hired live-in "house girl" (she's really a woman and mostly does laundry and some cooking) explained she needed to be taken to the hospital. About an hour after Samuel took her they arrived back home with the diagnosis of malaria. While they were gone, Peris and I scrambled to make dinner for 7 on short notice, during which time the power decided to go out. Peris needed to rest. So I made dinner for 7. In the dark. With a really annoying cat meowing at me the whole time.

On a happier note I think tomorrow Samuel and I are going to do some practice run soil sampling at G-BIACK in order to prepare for testing we will do later at the center and at 4 sites in the field where G-BIACK has trained communities. The project is a 4 year study on how soil involved in the Grow Biointensive method differs from other soil. It is funded by an American organization I have never heard of. Really wishing I had brought my soil notes from my PDC class.

At last I am a proud new owner of my very own gumboots. They are at least 1 and 1/2 sizes too big but I can walk in them and they are white so that my feet won't cook in the sun. They came just in the nick of time too, since I was going to have to wash my other shoes that are officially trashed from dirt and mud and now I can put that off until tomorrow evening. Every time I think of the word gumboots I think of Paul Simon.

Is anyone other than my mom still alive after reading this??? What is happening in the U.S.???

pigs for 15,000 shillings

In case anyone was wondering, a very pregnant sow expecting babies in about 8 days will set you back 15,000 kenyan shillings ($173 US dollars). I might mention that she is so big that she barely fits into the back of a van. I will also suggest that you NOT ride in the back seat with said pig pushing on the other side of your seat, since both the smell and sound effects are a bit troubling.

Classes began for the women's program today. I think at least a dozen women showed up and since we were accidentally locked out of the office, Peris and I crowded into the office of one of the women who heads the women's training and bead working. In the process of trying to push a watermelon seed onto a bracelet ring I managed to skewer my pointer finger to the point of bleeding. I was soon distracted from my finger by the sound of old Singer sewing machines whirring away in the adjoining room.

I wasn't able to go to work this morning and had to wait for a ride this afternoon to the Center since my intestines have decided that once again since they are in Africa, they have to freak out about one thing or another. Wishing I could figure out where my acidophilus ran off to. I'm hoping it's just a stomach flu or something since it's been accompanied by a pretty nagging headache and low energy levels. Despite being sick I feel so hopeful about how this internship could play out.

I've sent the contact info for Richard- whose training center in Rwanda was the focus of my thesis project- to both Samuel and Peris and they say that they plan to contact him. I'm really hoping it will be a useful relationship for both sides.

Yesterday Karanja, Shiro, Keith (can't remember his local name) and their friend and I all went swimming at a local pool. Only their friend Katya (?) sort of new how to swim. I attempted to teach them a few things but the pool was so crowded and they were pretty afraid and self-conscious. So we spent the majority of our time in the shallow end where the water only went barely past my knees. Just before we left, a Kenyan man almost drowned in the deep end and while struggling not to almost took a mzungu down with him. Some lady had to pull him out with the safety pole that had a circular cord around the end. So I'm suddenly really grateful for my ability to swim.

After swimming we trekked cross country to the center so that I could show everyone Simba's puppies. We walked and walked probably 3 miles on a dirt trail in the heat of the day and about 20% of the time we weren't certain we were going the right way. Karanja's friend started telling me about hyenas and snakes and I walked a little faster. We finally arrived at the Center and the puppies eyes had opened!!! Shiro and I decided that we liked the same one, a black and white one. And Karanja and I decided I need to bring Simba (the mama) the remaining camel milk from the house that was a failed experiment in broadening our horizons.

Tomorrow if I am well enough I will accompany Samuel to the construction company's future farm site for some planning discussions. I'm really liking the way that this process if feeling a lot like what I practiced in my permaculture design course. Where there is a client, they have ideas and money but want someone who can help them plan their ideas out and turn them into a reality. They were going to build a nursery to start seeds in last week so I'm anxious to see what they've done and if anything has sprouted yet.

On the ride home I bought 3 bananas for 10 shillings (about 11 cents) and wondered how the woman selling them could possibly make a profit from that little.

Lessons in... well, you name it.

Waking up with the sunrise.
Becoming comfortable with your own sweat, in what seems to be unbelievable amounts.
How to get by with less than you think you need.
Pants are actually trousers.
How to laugh harder than you have in ages (play soccer with 15 Kenyan coworkers some barefoot, from at least 3 different tribes, on a "field that is half dead grass/half dirt and on a hill with many holes in it, in the blistering sun. note to self, always have a Masai on your defense).
How to speak up for what you need even if it's not convenient for others- this one will take time.
Learning local names, because honestly people sometimes don't realize you're talking to them if you use their baptismal name. Favorites so far include Waweru, Wangui, Wambui, Karanja and Shiro.
How to compile a homemade Swahili/English dictionary with a 10 year old while watching music videos on TV and suddenly becoming nostalgic about songs that I once hated hearing on the radio...funny how that happens.
How foolish it is to bring light colored "trousers" to Central Kenya as they all instantly turn reddish brown.
Becoming friendly with cabbage, potato, and sweetened tea.
Just exactly how much the U.S. is ridiculous for not using the metric system.
Crossing police checkpoints every day on the way to and from work.
How no matter HOW dark you die your hair, if you're white to begin with, Africans will still spot you like a sore thumb.
The way dirt can cleverly serve as a "dry shampoo" by default.
Playing the game of, "what might these people be saying to one another??", this game is more fun than i originally thought.
Not panicking with the insane traffic, cows crossing the street in herds and people riding bikes with cargo piled above their head in the back, other people pulling large wooden carts, moto drivers, matatus etc. etc. (all while driving on the left)Somehow in this chaos there miraculously isn't a collision every 5 minutes.
"Bis-kwits" means cookies (biscuits) and for the longest time I thought everyone was referring to "Bisquick" and was puzzled by how into pancakes these people are. ha!
If case of any confusion, flavor your food with salt and pili pili (red pepper).
How guacamole, when made on another continent far from home, tastes 100 times more amazing than it ever did before.

and the list will be endless, i'm sure.

Mzuri!

"Mzuri" is Swahili for "how are you?"

Day 1 was a success! Started of a bit awkwardly until everyone loosened up. We had a quick introduction meeting and while the roof of the main training hall was being replaced, the rest of us (15 or so) scurried around from the compost to the greenhouse to the 40 bed unit. Turning, applying compost, slashing down cover crops to add to compost and weighing cover crops by bed. The 40 bed unit is a really interesting demonstration to show that in just that amount of space, a family of 5 can be fed for one year without any outside food. Those crops are divided into carbon crops (maize,sorghum,millet?), root crops, and vegetables(for market) but they are all inter-planted.

I was happy there were no cobra encounters with the turning of the huge compost pile. Was able to get a mini tour that Samuel gave to a visitor who has a farm here somewhere and wants to practice biointensive. We are going to visit her place tomorrow and Samuel will give out advice for planning (she has 100 acres and 15 cows...). Learned about seedling flats and permanent beds, Swiss beds, and traditional. The permanent has 2 feet worth of stones at the bottom decreasing in size as they get closer to the top and the plants only need one foot of top soil above the stones for them to grow happily. The Swiss beds had plastic 2 feet down or so and was supposed to be really successful too. Water retention is a major factor in general.

Tomorrow we will plant cow peas, tomato seedlings and onions, which, I have been told are "no joke" to plant since they are planted so close to one another. There is also some fancy triangular spacing we will practice with the planting. Typical of Grow Biointensive but totally new to me.

I also somehow squeezed in a marathon bead-working session with a very patient but dramatic woman. Fine motor skills have never really been my thing. I haven't felt so incompetent in all my life. She wanted to teach me this pattern for a bracelet that would produce the alternating colors of the Kenyan flag. I kept getting flustered since the lighting was horrid, I couldn't identify the tiny holes in the beads and the fishing line strands were SO long that I kept accidentally mixing them up and reversing them.

A couple of times during the day I snuck away to a shed where the guard dog had her litter of 10 puppies about a week ago. Their eyes aren't even open yet and I shocked myself by picking them up and touching their tiny heads and ears despite the fleas I could plainly see. (Not to worry I compulsively washed my hands like a maniac throughout the day and shook out my clothes when I got home).

Also learned about their Take a Rabbit Home project for orphans of HIV/AIDS parents in the communities where G-BIACK has connections with farming families. More on that later.

Well now it's day 2. Worked more on cutting down the cover crops in the 40 bed unit and weighing them. Most beds have been around 30 kg and I believe the bed size is 1.5 meters x6 meters. There is no shortage of compost material!!!

Went to tour a big company's property where they have decided to "go green". They are going to do biogas, and Grow Biointensive farming on as much space of their several acres as they can. It was really a joy to listen to Samuel give them so many ideas of how to start with their land that is nearly flooded, has two types of soil, and (almost all of the space) hasn't been cultivated since they owned the property in 1990. He really knows his shit. What an inspiration.

Getting to know Thika and the surrounding areas a little more. They call it "The Birmingham of Kenya" which confused me like crazy until I was told it refers to the Birmingham in England NOT the one in the U.S.-since it's a super industrial place. Everywhere you look here there is a factory and if there is not a factory, then you are looking at the absolutely GIGANTIC (I'm not kidding around here, it is monoculture to the utmost extreme) pineapple plantations owned by Del Monte.

During the tour today all of a sudden a reeeeally scary noise came out of nowhere. It was earpiercingly loud and sounded like a humongous jet or a space shuttle or something so we all stared at the sky but couldn't see anything. It persisted and I started to get a little freaked. We were surrounded by quite a high cement security wall... then, before I knew it an Enormous cloud of solid black pollution rose into the gorgeous blue sky and looked like the effects of some sort of atom bomb. It started to smell bad and I asked what type of factory it was. Apparently they press oil, make margerine and biscuits (known as cookies to us Americans). Reminded me of The Lorax, or the Apocalypse or, I don't know, just a really awful nightmare we're not waking up from.

In happier news, the kids are really warming up to me and my toilet is (at least for now) fixed! Our work retreat will now be sometime later in the week- Thursday maybe.

Tomorrow I'm going to draw up designs for some bed marking signs that I get the honor of painting soon. Hope I can get my artistic skills on.

Jesus, Porcupines and Red-Spitting Cobras

"What do these three things have in common???" you ask me. Well, after an incredibly long 4 hours of church and some time at a local hotel that has a mini-zoo, I can tell you. The presence of each is prolific in Kenya.

I'd like to breeze over the church experience since it was harder to survive than imagined (me being so stubborn about not pretending to believe in things I don't and striving toward honesty in my life in general- I felt like quite an outraged fraud). I was even yelled at over a microphone with a congregation of a couple hundred people since I didn't stand up at the right time (in my defense Annette and Keith were still sitting too! and they are seasoned veterans.). And during the 20 minute segment entitled "SCOFFERS BEWARE" on the powerpoint on the front wall I had a really lousy feeling that the Bishop was looking directly at me during certain, really, forceful points he made. So you get the gist.

In other news, I've been informed that at the G-BIACK center where I start work tomorrow (harvesting, planting watering, working all over on the ground), just some of their "common pests" as Mamma Keith puts it, include porcupines- which eat all of their sweet potatoes and Red Spitting Cobras which like to show up when turning the compost pile, or hang out in rock or wood piles, OR fantastically like to come INSIDE the office and hang out in the corner or even in one's gumboots. Enter: panic attack. Somehow Red Spitting Cobras scare me more than terrorism. It is totally illogical but I am already worried I'll have nightmares tonight.

I'm also once again reminded to be grateful for all of the infrastructure we have and TOTALLY take for granted in the U.S.: water safe to drink from the tap, toilets that both work and have seats, etc. etc.

On that lovely note I'd like to call myself out on being a bit of a jet-lagged black cloud. I told a friend back home today that after losing all hope of finding one of the few hair clips I brought with me I realized to my shock that it was actually holding all of my hair up at that exact moment. So to be fair, my brain is still adjusting and I hope I'll get less 2/3rds worldy- poor me- what the hell is going on here once more time passes.

If anyone is really reading these posts, I would be overjoyed to get feedback or comments.

Ca va Ca va.

Mother Earth is my church

i have been here less than 2 days and i have already been asked this question more than once (which is saying a lot since i have been in my jet-lag, tail end of holiday, hermitage and have not met many people). it strikes me that so far it is assumed that i attend a church. i like the blessings we have before our meals, i feel i am a faithful person, i really enjoy expressing gratitude for what i have, and i know there is SOMETHING in the universe larger than myself.

i dropped off some textbooks that i brought from the US for a woman who is friends with Samuel (who i will soon refer to only as Nderitu, since that's his real name and Samuel is his Baptismal name) (Peris just revealed today that her name is really "mamma Keith"-the name of her first born and if i were to get lost and ask someone in town for Peris, they would look at me like I am crazy). her husband is a pastor. when he asked me where do i go to church at home i tried to sidestep the question by explaining that i have attended my parents' Unitarian Universalist services from time to time. so far people seem to think that UUs are Pentecostal. it is nearly impossible to explain Unitarianism to people here let alone people in the US, so i'm sure my definitions are less than helpful.

so he asked me to tell him where i, individually, go to church- not my parents' church. a couple of seconds passed and his wife, Nderitu and their 3 little children all stared at me. i told him "outdoors". Nederitu laughed softly and the pastor did not seem to understand since he then repeated his question. i told him I go to nature. i can't remember what happened next since i was so shocked that i stood up for myself in that tiny way. i think the subject was quickly changed to the quality of American book publishing.

i am still debating about whether to attend church this Sunday with Nderitu and fam. i like many aspects of the "idea" of church. community, socializing, singing... but i am really uncertain whether i will go.

let me say that i have some dear friends who are firmly religious and i truly respect differences in belief 100%. it's just hard to see all of the detrimental affects that -colonialism which went hand in hand with religion-
has had on the thought processes of Africans in my experience. and what baffles me more is that (dare i say) even though in some ways (i believe) religious ideas and practices have held Africa back, so many here embrace it whole-heartedly.

on the other hand, i really try not to judge and must remind myself that in a life and location where so, so many things are a struggle, so much is negative and feels hopeless, conditions are tough- it must be a source of emotional support. and everyone deserves that.

delirious ramblings i'm sure to regret at a later time

dilemma dilemma. i have the urge to divulge lots of bizarre details/feelings/thoughts about my experience during my time in transit (through London) to Thika, Kenya. the debate i'm having with myself is how much to divulge . one of the reasons i was unsure about starting a blog was that the majority of blogs i'd looked over online about westerners living in Africa start off with 10 computer screens worth of useless info about how much they had to endure to get to Africa, how exhausted they were, how great a shower felt, blah blah blah. of course all those things are true for me, but i'm more overwhelmed by how unbelievable lucky i feel to be here.

#1 i brought too much luggage. my Director keeps referring to my "5 month stay (or longer" and i'm not sure if this is due to a misunderstanding about my (two month) contract- or more of an inside joke with himself about my loads of stuff i carted over. the way i make myself feel better about this is that I predict that whenever i leave i will find homes for lots of what i packed and buy things from local artisans to support the economy here (even though Kenya's economy and the financial well-being of its citizens seem unrelated.). this will be right before i create world peace, naturally.

#2 i can hear both sheep and roosters from my room. the walls are painted cartoon sky blue and sea foam green. there is a disconcerting 2+ inch gap (what the hell would that be in millimeters i wonder?) between the bottom of my bedroom door and the outside world which likely includes adventurous cockroaches.

#3 i realized that the shoes i brought will not have the right kind of heel for killing those monsters.

#4 Peris just told me that their children, Annette and Keith "don't understand our mother tongue (Kikuyu), just Swahili and English" I was sure how to respond and then Sam chimed in with "too much urbanization". I widened my jet-lagged eyes and said something sympathetic-ish and then pointed out that I wish I had known two languages when I was 1o.

#5 I have it on good authority that I will at some point get a chance to hear old Kikuyu folk music. Don't get your hopes too high, Lis, but I was already inquiring about it on the car ride to their house from the airport (which took over an hour and i learned the airport isn't really in Central Nairobi).

#6 I've disclosed the fact that I don't eat goats since I'm part of the goat clan. They laughed at me but I think they understand.

-Why am I numbering things?

-Today, Peter (their nephew) introduced me to his dog named Rex. he rolled the "r" super dramatically and then informed me that Rex is a female. I loved it.

-I can't get over how flat it seems here, and the wind.

-Today Peris lectured me about some of the more embarrassing characteristics of Americans and America. We don't know how to survive, we don't know how to use our hands, we use too much timber and we're going to end up with no trees like Kenya. It made me feel like crying a bit since I knew too well how right she was. I told her I liked hand washing clothes and about my Permaculture course and how some Americans are very concerned about conserving resources.

-Sam told me that he believes that solely because I am here, G-BIACK could attract more funding. He said in his 13 years epxerience that's how he's seen it work. When the westerners or european's names disappear from the funding proposals, the funding dries up. I told him that was horrible and I am sorry.

-I'm now surrounded by Swahili conversations flying from across the room. There are visitors from the neighborhood and Sam's family. It is so pleasing to my ears. It flows like water.

Can't wait to go to the Center. Lots of projects going on there... kitchen for classes being built, culverts at the entrance being constructed, training hall soon to be built, new roof for the main building. All new garden beds to be put in. Greenhouse repairs. Soil studies. Comparative research that could be sent to John Jeavons. Follow up fieldwork with previous trainees.

Next week we are having a team-building, retreat. I think there will be close to 15 of us in total.

T-Minus 18 hours

thanks to my awesome sister, Lisa: I HAVE A BLOG! i admit i was intimidated to try this seemingly mysterious hobby for quite some time, but with lots of encouragement I have decided to give it a shot.

i depart from San Francisco tomorrow at 4:30 and arrive in Nairobi, Kenya at 9am on the 5th.

it is all happening so fast but i am bursting with joy that i am able to go, and i feel ready.

i'll be interning at G-BIACK (Grow Biointensive Agriculture Center Kenya) in Thika, Kenya for at least the first two months. i just got a really nice email from Sam, my future Director explaining that he and his wife Peris are really excited to meet me at the airport. he's said that i will have a few days to rest from jet lag and then we will have our hands full with work at the Center since they had some heavy floods in November that wiped everything out. he says we will be "starting from scratch".

i'm sorry to hear about the flooding- but really looking forward to being a part of the rebuilding. i am sure it will be a great learning experience for me. i also cannot wait to meet their children. one boy and one girl, one is 10 and the other 12 yrs old. i can't remember which is which age.

Lis will be driving me to the airport tomorrow from Grass Valley. My parents have graciously (grudgingly??) accepted my choice to have her take me instead of making the airport drop off a messy, sobby event with all 4 of us. So the emotional exchanges will still take place, but it will be before I reach the airport. This way I have a bit of time to go from being freaked out and sad to remembering how excited I am that I AM GOING BACK TO AFRICA!!!

Thanks to my amazing family and all of your supportive comments, cards and phone calls in recent days. I can't promise I will have new posts right away, but once I am settled I'm sure I'll be eager to share more than you'll want to read about!

More to come soon!