I was asked this question by a friend as we had juice and Swahili pizza in town one evening a couple of weeks ago. It invoked all kinds of rage within me because #1 I HATE sitting around! and #2 my TV is so lousy that I used to get 5 channels and now I only get 3, and of those, only one actually has color/an actual picture. Let me note that 99.9% of those channels are in Swahili so my attention span lasts about 20 seconds. I think I turn it on about once every 2 or 3 weeks and if the hilarious Kung Fu show where people fly around and women fight off ten guys with weapons (with zero blood) and birds pick up children in their mouths and fly away isn't on, then I will turn it off.
I'm always so ashamed when people ask me what I am doing here. I always say "looking for work", and it is true. I spend hours and hours searching the internet and sifting through newspapers and telling friends to keep an ear out for me. But if I am brutally honest (which is scary to do so publicly), it is taking too long to find a job in Kenya. I am beginning to see that as a signal that I need to change something about my plans. I haven't yet put my finger on exactly what that will look like, but I am becoming increasingly more open to working outside of Kenya- or even outside of Africa.
At any rate I do need to keep evaluating how I spend my time. It can be uncomfortable and awkward living without a routine that has been imposed on you by a school or employer etc. Usually in those situations people complain about not having free time, etc. etc. I, on the other hand really strive with structure and I need to trust myself more to create more structure in my life. In addition to creating structure, I need to learn not to be swayed when some unplanned thing comes up (like rescuing a kitten, which then gets sick and I have to clean up after it constantly, or a lunch or dinner invitation by friends which I know will inevitably turn into a multiple hour marathon visit).
I find that do I make all kinds of attempts to create structure in my days. I will have plans and usually follow them somewhat closely, but what gets me off track is when I'm invited by others to do something. It's not that I feel eager to abandon my plans, I actually get a little annoyed that I won't be sticking to them, but the reason- if I am brutally honest again- is GUILT. How CAN I say "no" to an invitation when all of my friends know that I don't have work? In the US it would be easy for them to understand, but here, it somehow comes across as insulting. Apparently I can be a big pushover. I am such a people pleaser (AND animal pleaser, yikes, a double whammy!) that I make sacrifices to keep others happy. Sometimes I think that is okay, but I know in my case, I need to monitor that so I can keep myself in check.
During this time of transition I am gravitating toward all kinds of phrases and sayings and inspirational quotes and theories. It is lovely to internalize these but how far will they get me, really? For example:
"You won't find what you want unless you KNOW what you want" (really like that one)
and more recently, "instead of following your passion, cultivate it".
and this one haunts me but seems the least helpful: "if you don't know where you're going..." ah we all know that one.
So according to conventional wisdom, in a nutshell we should all:
#1 KNOW WHAT WE WANT
#2 PICK A ROAD
and #3 CULTIVATE OUR PASSION
Or can each of these only be followed separately? Or in a different order than the one I put them in? You see, that is the problem with conventional wisdom. As intelligent as it sounds, it can often just confuse more than assist. So should we toss it aside? I doubt it. Maybe it is just better if we look for our own answers while occasionally remembering the useful bits.
It is also a gray area if you think of these things in terms of "control". One school of thought is that, nothing will happen for you unless you go out and make it happen and take you life in your hands. Another school of thought will insist that everything is out of our control and the Universe, or a chosen God will decide it all regardless of what plans we may make for ourselves. What if we don't buy into either one? That is sort of where I am finding myself, although I have always been more in line with the former.
To lighten things up a bit, here are some professions that I downright KNOW I would be incredible at:
Professional "thinker"
Animal rescuer
School garden and nutrition instructor (I wish more of these positions existed)
Seed specialist
Organic baker
Free lance botanical sketch artist
Free lance, international journalist (in a world where there wasn't already 200 free lance journalists for every story)
Yes, there is not a particularly "hot" market for those jobs at this time- as far as I'm aware. Certainly nothing lucrative. Still, I am convinced that knowing these will be helpful to me somehow at some point in my life.
What are YOUR thoughts on conventional wisdom??
I'm always so ashamed when people ask me what I am doing here. I always say "looking for work", and it is true. I spend hours and hours searching the internet and sifting through newspapers and telling friends to keep an ear out for me. But if I am brutally honest (which is scary to do so publicly), it is taking too long to find a job in Kenya. I am beginning to see that as a signal that I need to change something about my plans. I haven't yet put my finger on exactly what that will look like, but I am becoming increasingly more open to working outside of Kenya- or even outside of Africa.
At any rate I do need to keep evaluating how I spend my time. It can be uncomfortable and awkward living without a routine that has been imposed on you by a school or employer etc. Usually in those situations people complain about not having free time, etc. etc. I, on the other hand really strive with structure and I need to trust myself more to create more structure in my life. In addition to creating structure, I need to learn not to be swayed when some unplanned thing comes up (like rescuing a kitten, which then gets sick and I have to clean up after it constantly, or a lunch or dinner invitation by friends which I know will inevitably turn into a multiple hour marathon visit).
I find that do I make all kinds of attempts to create structure in my days. I will have plans and usually follow them somewhat closely, but what gets me off track is when I'm invited by others to do something. It's not that I feel eager to abandon my plans, I actually get a little annoyed that I won't be sticking to them, but the reason- if I am brutally honest again- is GUILT. How CAN I say "no" to an invitation when all of my friends know that I don't have work? In the US it would be easy for them to understand, but here, it somehow comes across as insulting. Apparently I can be a big pushover. I am such a people pleaser (AND animal pleaser, yikes, a double whammy!) that I make sacrifices to keep others happy. Sometimes I think that is okay, but I know in my case, I need to monitor that so I can keep myself in check.
During this time of transition I am gravitating toward all kinds of phrases and sayings and inspirational quotes and theories. It is lovely to internalize these but how far will they get me, really? For example:
"You won't find what you want unless you KNOW what you want" (really like that one)
and more recently, "instead of following your passion, cultivate it".
and this one haunts me but seems the least helpful: "if you don't know where you're going..." ah we all know that one.
So according to conventional wisdom, in a nutshell we should all:
#1 KNOW WHAT WE WANT
#2 PICK A ROAD
and #3 CULTIVATE OUR PASSION
Or can each of these only be followed separately? Or in a different order than the one I put them in? You see, that is the problem with conventional wisdom. As intelligent as it sounds, it can often just confuse more than assist. So should we toss it aside? I doubt it. Maybe it is just better if we look for our own answers while occasionally remembering the useful bits.
It is also a gray area if you think of these things in terms of "control". One school of thought is that, nothing will happen for you unless you go out and make it happen and take you life in your hands. Another school of thought will insist that everything is out of our control and the Universe, or a chosen God will decide it all regardless of what plans we may make for ourselves. What if we don't buy into either one? That is sort of where I am finding myself, although I have always been more in line with the former.
To lighten things up a bit, here are some professions that I downright KNOW I would be incredible at:
Professional "thinker"
Animal rescuer
School garden and nutrition instructor (I wish more of these positions existed)
Seed specialist
Organic baker
Free lance botanical sketch artist
Free lance, international journalist (in a world where there wasn't already 200 free lance journalists for every story)
Yes, there is not a particularly "hot" market for those jobs at this time- as far as I'm aware. Certainly nothing lucrative. Still, I am convinced that knowing these will be helpful to me somehow at some point in my life.
What are YOUR thoughts on conventional wisdom??
4 comments:
My two cents...
1. No shame in looking for work... it's a full time job in itself; so you ARE working now.
2. Trusting yourself and looking for your own answers is the BEST.
3. Being open minded and evaluating how time is spent helps.
4. Control is going out and making it happen combined with expressing, and in order to express, the uniqueness that is YOU, which is one precious piece of the almighty power of the universe, whatever name it is given.
5. Knowing your incredible-ness is always helpful; (see #2 and #4 above).
6. Gratitude is HUGE.
7. You are so loved.
Hugs, Momma
PS... You have always been a thinker and seeker; get used to it. XO, Momma
...and be grateful for it...and embrace it! OX, Momma
"You don't measure up to the expectation.
When you're unemployed, there's no vacation.
No one cares, no one sympathizes.
You just stay home and play synthesizers."
-FotC
Stay positive...
Don't be afraid to put yourself out there...
Believe in yourself...
Keep working at it...
Don't forget to live your life...
Conventional wisdom may be overrated; unconventional wisdom is more interesting...
Post a Comment