the present moment

A few thoughts that have been frequenting my mind lately:

I finally know, after 30 years, what I was born to do in life. So grateful it didn't take longer to discover.

In fact, it feels like the things that people promised would happen in my 30s are, in reality, happening. I am becoming much more comfortable with myself and the world and all of its complexities, I feel grounded but still know how to have fun. I care less about other people's opinions- especially if they are negative. I am better at tuning out things that make me feel unhappy (have a long way to go, but I'm shocking myself with progress in this area. for example carrying a dead, baby rabbit). I know what to expect and what not to expect with my own self. I don't kid myself with unrealistic expectations about what I can do. When I entertain an idea about something, I know almost right away if the idea could really come to life or if I'm just fantasizing.

Don't get me wrong, I think fantasizing is healthy in certain amounts. Still, it's a lovely feeling to just know outright when you're kidding yourself and when you are concocting brave ideas that have true potential no matter how small.

I am learning to embrace the approach to life that encourages me to just know that things will unfold as they were meant to. Once I stop trying to control everything in my life and make the best decisions I can given the circumstances- I am more and more able to really let things go and give them to the future. It is a challenge at times, but whenever I can manage to remember this approach I find that my internal energy is restored 100%.

It's an overused expression, but I really believe that to "follow your bliss" is the biggest favor a person can do for herself. It may not earn you loads of money, it may not make you famous, your friends and family may or may not agree, but at the end of the day, if you know that you pursued the things that make you feel alive, it really might be enough.

Now I'm going to step off of my soapbox in search of a warm shower.

Looking forward to classes on soil tomorrow. I may dream of soil. I hope I do. Such a nerd. A proud nerd, that is.